Why marriage counselling works

6 reasons marriage counselling will benefit your relationship

There’s some stigma in this country about ‘getting help,’ seeing a counsellor, and mental health in general.  As a Sunshine Coast marriage celebrant with a background in psychology, I can’t rave enough about the benefits of having a sounding board and guiding light in all areas of your life – especially in your marriage and familial lives.  Here’s six great reasons that might motivate you to pick to make an appointment:

Marriage counselling is a healthy way to nurture your relationship
Show your partner your relationship is a priority
  1. You’ll be able to work through past traumas and issues so they don’t follow you into the future

Sometimes we drag our past into the present and that’s not healthy!  We don’t need past-us to sabotage present-us or our relationships.  Working through relationship trauma and issues is a positive step towards acknowledging and working through your past without lugging that baggage around with you.  Think about whenever you move house: it’s new beginnings, right?  Well imagine moving say, a ragged, heavy old sofa into every new home you move into.  Not cool!  Get rid of it!

Jeremy and Rachael together
Fairy-tales can come true when there’s trust and honesty
  1. You’ll be acknowledging your relationship health takes priority

No relationship is perfect, and you’d be doing yourself and your partner a dis-service if you acted like it was.  We humans are a complicated bunch, that’s for sure!  One of the best ways to show you honour your relationship with all it’s little quirks, is to prioritise it, working together on making it the best that it can be.  If you’re not willing to do that, should you even be there?

I love this photo – it’s like Elly is saying, “C’mon Matty, let’s get going!” wedding celebrant Sunshine Coast Noosa Coolum Maroochydore Mooloolaba Calounra Kawana Montville Maleny Celebrant JP
  1. You know that sometimes it’s healthy to get objective opinions

It’s kind of hard to not take things personally, because we usually see through our own lens, so subjectivity is almost inevitable.  The beauty of a marriage counsellor is they don’t have a vested interest in the outcome, so they tend to be a great objective sounding board, thus opening your perspective to other alternatives.

David and Evie
Lock them in when you’ve found your forever
  1. Your partner isn’t perfect – neither are you

Let’s face it, we’re all here to work through stuff and to do so, we have some powerful tools in our toolkit.  A marriage counsellor will show you how to use those tools: tolerance, gratitude, acknowledgement, respect, trust, forgiveness, understanding … You’ve already got the tools, but sometimes we need lessons in their safe and appropriate use!

Love rules
Work together for #relationshipgoals – just like Naomi and Emily <3
  1. You’ll both be in a safe space to talk about all those non-discussables

Does your relationship have a non-discussable?  Something that makes you squirm in your seat when you think about talking with your partner about.  That’s called a non-discussable!  What better way to have that conversation than in a safe, inclusive environment with an objective and caring listener.  Your marriage counsellor will guide the conversation to help navigate the path for you.

Laugh the whole day through Beach wedding celebrant Sunshine Coast Noosa Coolum Maroochydore Mooloolaba Calounra Kawana Montville Maleny Celebrant JP
No secrets Beach wedding celebrant Sunshine Coast Noosa Coolum Maroochydore Mooloolaba Calounra Kawana Montville Maleny Celebrant JP
  1. It will be great for your sex life 😉

Think about how liberating it’ll be when you have total trust in your partner – You’re not carrying past baggage, you know that your relationship is a priority, you’re with someone who totally understands you and gets you and you have no secrets!  You can truly lay yourself bare to each other.  If that isn’t a recipe for a great roll in the sheets, I don’t know what is!

Marriage counselling works

Have you seen a marriage counsellor?  What else can you add to the list?

A lovely love story: Jeremy and Rachael

A real life fairy-tale ending

You may kiss your bride
Sealed with a kiss

Jeremy and Rachael met 21 years ago when Rachael moved to Landsborough for her first year of high school. They first saw each other at ‘The Hero Stand’. (This is where they would catch the bus to and from Caloundra High School and also the local meeting place/hang out).

Jeremy thought Rachael was too pretty for someone like him (who was up to no good most of the time).

Rachael loved sitting at the hero stand watching Jeremy walk across the grass with  his long dark hair sticking out from under his hat, she always thought he had gorgeous mysterious eyes and a cheeky Cheshire Cat grin.

The young people kept bumping into each other and eventually they started visiting each other and would spend hours sitting in their bedrooms (usually his), talking about deeper things than you would expect from most teenagers. Jeremy read to Rachael and they would share books like ‘The Celestine Prophecy ’.  Rachael felt she saw a side of Jeremy that was hidden to the outside world and was intrigued and impressed by both his intelligence and spirituality.

Pre ceremony fun
Jeremy and his guy gang get their Charlie’s Angels on

Rachael moved back to the coast and the young couple started to date, though it was a lot harder to see each other.  Jeremy would go into Caloundra to see Rachael and when he didn’t, Rachael raced home every day after school to call his house phone in the hope of catching him.  He was a bit of an errant kid and usually hadn’t been seen in days, so Rach would just chat with his Mum. On weekends Rachael would catch the school bus back to Landsborough hoping to find him somewhere around town, or they would meet up at a party.

Eventually Jeremy broke up with Rachael:  He thought she was too good for him and knew she deserved to be treated better.  He didn’t really want to break up with her, and it was hard on everyone.  Rachael’s heart broke and she felt like she wasn’t good enough. Jeremy knew she felt like this and it niggled his conscience from that moment.

The Chapel, Montville
The Chapel, Montville is the perfect backdrop for an elegant hinterland ceremony

As a young adult, Rachael moved away to Brisbane but would often drive back to the coast and would always detour through Landsborough, the Hero Stand, and past Jeremy’s family home to reminisce, and in the hope that she might catch sight of him somewhere.  She never did.  All she had were the memories of those eyes and that Cheshire smile.

Years later, Jeremy decided to find Rachael to apologise to her, and get closure.

Jeremy and Rachael together
Fairy-tales can come true

By this time Rachael was married with 2 children and when Jeremy called, Rachael was closed off and distant (her husband sat right beside her) and the conversation was unnatural.  Of course, Jeremy remembered a different girl and questioned if he’d even spoken to the same girl – and he still didn’t have closure.

From time to time Jeremy searched for Rachael on social media to no avail.

Years passed, and two more babies later, Rachael popped up on Facebook with her old last name (she had divorced).   Jeremy found her and messaged her with “Hey, do you remember me?”…  of course she did.  She’d never forgotten him.

The pair finally became the couple they were destined to be, and four years later, I married them in a stunning ceremony at one of my favourite Sunshine Coast wedding venues, The Chapel, Montville.    Check out the photos they had taken at the old hangout, the Hero Stand!

Jeremy still thinks Rachael’s too good for him, but he says, “I lost her once, I won’t lose her again.”

The old haunts
A lovely love story
A kiss for the camera
It’s pretty obvious they like each other

And they lived happily ever after!