You can spend months and even years planning the most important day of your lives.  The fine details, the broad details, and all the details in between.  The thing is though – sometimes shit just happens!  But it’s how you deal with it that will make the difference between a brilliant day and one you’re remembering for all the wrong reasons.

I’ll give you an example.  Beautiful couple Jess and Chris have been together for 8 years: they’re happy, vivacious and a pleasure to be around.  I really loved being their celebrant – they were like my perfect couple.  I remember telling them that because they have such a great attitude about their wedding (something like: whatever goes wrong on the day won’t diminish the eye on the prize mentality, that is, they’ll be married!).

As the lead up to the wedding went smoothly, their big day arrived.  The styling was set up and looked pretty when I arrived.  The musician arrived.  Guests started arriving.

Unbeknownst to any of us the cake lady was on the phone to Jess saying she’d just dropped the cake and it was ruined.

There would be no cake, and therefore no dessert.  Eeek!

 

Jess’ mum jumped into action and arranged for a large white mud cake and a small white mud cake to be collected from The Cheesecake Shop, and these were delivered just prior to Jess’ walk down the aisle.  At least there would dessert, but as yummy as they are, they looked nothing like a wedding cake.

The ceremony was amazing – full of laughs and tears and joy!  My favourites!

I snuck in to the reception when I heard about the cake disaster and saw The Cheesecake Shop mudcake creation turned into a mini-masterpiece by the staff who used leftover florals to make a beautiful wedding cake.

Well played Surfair, Marcoola – well played.

 

The smashed cake was delivered the next day (with no delivery charge) and everyone enjoyed some morning tea – laughing all the way.

And that’s how you deal with stuff that goes wrong – as it often does.

When you marry the same person twice …

A favourite tale from 2016.  I received an email enquiry from a bride in early 2016 about her wedding, so I sent her some information.  A few weeks later, she emailed me saying:

Hi Lynette,

Thanks for sending all that information through, I’d really like to book you for our wedding.  But I think we might have problem.  You see, my partner has been married before – and you married him.  I was at the wedding and it was the best wedding I’d ever been to.  Are you okay with this?

Haha!  Well, yes of course I was.  I remembered the groom (no names here 😃) and his first wife quite well – it had been a fabulous wedding!

I told the bride it didn’t bother me, if it didn’t both her or her fiancé.  They were both excited and they booked me, so the planning went ahead.

I figured I’d already know half the guests at the wedding!

Their wedding was just a wonderful as his first one – complete with bride dog and Cheezels for rings.

Really, can it get any better than that?

 

Life was pretty cruisy – late last year I was putting the finishing touches on my book, and I realised I hadn’t had any enquiries through my website.  I was still getting phone calls from new couples, and emails directly to me – but none via my website.   Then I looked at my bookings for 2017 and made a connection – my bookings were down also!

eeek!!

I sent myself an email through the ‘Contact Me‘ page and it didn’t come through.

Gulp!

I frantically called by webguy.  Apparently I had WordPress set on automatically update and, well, basically an update broke my contact form.

It had been broken for two whole months.

s%^&               f&*(               Bl**%$£

The thing is though, although my were bookings for 2017 were down, I’m a naturally very positive and happy person – for me it happened for a reason!  I’m loving lunching with friends on some weekends that I have off – and it’s given me time to work on my other loves, My Wedding Wish and Now Generation – and me!  And that to me is worthwhile!

So, the message is always look at the bright side of any situation!

And – if you think I’m probably booked, check again, I may not be  🙂  so ring me!

 

x

 

While the world mourned some great musicians, actors, writers and minds, the year of Lynette Maguire was an absolute cracker!

I’m a pretty positive person naturally, and yeah stuff happened, but by and large 2016 for me, was the bomb!

2016 was my biggest year of weddings to date.  I met loads of loved up couples who absolutely loved their ceremonies.  One of things I love about what I do is that each wedding is different, because each couple is different – so no two weddings are ever the same!  Also, a lot of what I do is ad lib (hey you can plan these things down to the micro-second, but sometimes life throws curve balls at you) and I love the spontaneity, joy and laughter at these times!

Weddings are inherently emotional, because, well, they’re weddings – but it doesn’t mean they need to be boring.  Being all loved up can be fun too!  And I’ve had loads of fun this year – I can honestly say there’s not a couple that I didn’t connect with, or who didn’t adore their ceremony!  It’s the connection that really matters, you see.  Here’s a few pics:

 

So, what happened this year, besides awesome weddings?  Well, I conducted 4 funerals this year and 5 same sex commitments.   Lynette Maguire Marriage Celebrant was interviewed by media a couple of times, chatting about trends in weddings, same sex marriage and ceremony venues on the Sunshine Coast.

 

MY OTHER LOVES

And aside from that, I taught in Semester 1 at USC.

I was asked to be keynote speaker at five (5) events this year – talking about my Doctoral research into the influencers of teen behaviour (social networking, narcissism, violence, cyberbulling, suicide) through my consultancy business Now Generation

My doctoral research was published!  Whoot!

My discussion cards are selling well.  They’re designed to start conversations with teens about stuff that matters.

 

My next book, Selfies, sexting, savagery and suicide: Welcome to the era of narcissism which is written for the parents and caregivers of teens, is out next year – this is what it’ll look like:

 

MY BABY, MY WEDDING WISH LTD

My baby, My Wedding Wish Ltd is now registered as a national charity with DGR status (that means we can give tax deductible receipts)  yay!!  For those who don’t know, My Wedding Wish has been running since 2013 and we gift weddings to the terminally ill.  To date we’ve gifted over $250,000.00 worth of weddings, renewal of vow ceremonies and same sex commitments.  If you know anyone who fits the criteria (terminal) and they want to be married but can’t because of all reasons when you’re terminal, send them to me!  J

A story in the local Profile magazine made the finalist’s list of the ‘Most Inspiring Story of 2016’ – we didn’t win, but we always love the love!

The gorgeous folk at the RACV Resort in Noosa (highly recommend for weddings) held a Melbourne Cup lunch for My Wedding Wish, and raised $2,000 for us!  Thank you RACV  xx

The other fabulous folk from Best Western at Kawana (another great wedding venue), held a Christmas Party for all the wedding suppliers of the Sunshine Coast, and proceeds were donated to MWW also.  Thank you lovely people!

Our Steering Committee have been hard at work and we’re almost rolled out around Australia.  It’s been a long journey but we’re now gifting weddings other than in SE Queensland!

To top it all off, My Wedding Wish has been nominated in the Sunshine Coast’s 2017 Australia Day Awards!  Whooot!

 

AND WELL, I THINK THAT’S ENOUGH!

I’m jumping out of my skin for an amazing 2017!  I had computer issues where for 2 months my website contact form was down so I missed SO MANY enquiries!  L  But we’re back into the swing of things now!

I hope your 2017 is brilliant.  xxx

How to write great vows

Without a doubt, how to write amazing vows is one of the first questions my couples ask me when we catch up to design their ceremonies. Basically you’re being expected to do something really important, that you’ve either never done before, or only done once (or twice!) before. Vow writing comes easy to old hands like celebrants because we see them every day. It’s a bit different for our couples though.

Firstly, there’s two things to think about:

1.  what will you be comfortable writing?

2.  what will you be comfortable saying?

Public speaking terrifies most people (I’ll blog about ways to help with this later – I teach public speaking at uni, so I have some handy hints).

 

So, because I figure you’re not ‘old hands’ at writing vows, I always suggest to start with the Cheat’s Version – which is this:

Read more ›

Wow what a rollercoaster year!

This year I graduated with a Doctoral Degree at University of Sunshine Coast.  I was also awarded the Chancellor’s Medal, so was given the privilege of addressing the 3000 guests.   As a result of that, I’ve been asked to be the Key Note speaker at International Women’s Day in March.  Along the same vibes, I’ve been asked to speak at a “Youth at Risk” Symposium on the Gold Coast in March.  Exciting times and I get such a thrill if anyone asks about my thesis, so I’m super stoked that someone is interested in hearing about it!  “Is social networking enabling an increase in narcissism and violence in teens?”  (Answer: yes!  derr!).  I’m working of turning my thesis into book for caregivers, parents, teachers, or just the plain curious, it will be ready to release in 2016

 

Kenny and I sold our house in Paluma Terrace (a woman literally came and knocked on our door and made us an offer which we happily accepted) and found our dream home at Mudjimba (a new home finished in 2013 and never had anyone living in it – everything is still all shiny!).  We’ve added a pool to the new house and landscaped it too – so there hasn’t been a spare minute!

And of course, I met so many gorgeous loved up couples.  It was an absolute pleasure to know you and marry you – I’ve had an absolute ball with my weddings this year!  Here’s some sneak pics of some of the fun.

 

My Wedding Wish was active and gorgeous suppliers have once again jumped on board to be part of something really special.  I founded MWW in 2013 – it’s a project that gifts full white weddings to couples with terminal illnesses.  Along with the beauty that comes along with such a gorgeous project, is the immense grief and sadness when the sick partner passes away.  In 2015, we lost Chrissy, MWW’s first recipient, DJ Hall, Graham and Russ (we didn’t get to donate to Russ – he went too quickly).  All went within a month – I was gutted.  I’m thinking in 2016 I’ll work towards making MWW a registered charity – it was supposed to happen in 2015 but the move and house put most other things on hold.

I started up Elope to Australia at the beginning on 2015 and I’m happy to say I’ve arranged some pretty special elopements and small weddings from around the globe.  It’s a great little business!

I’m looking forward to a spectacular 2016!  I hope you’re a part of it with me  🙂

Watch out for my new business as a social commentator, author, public speaker on topics such as: social networking, narcissism, violence, desensitisation, cyberbullying, teen suicide, porn and teen sexual health

🙂

 

xx

Lynette

 

OMG! Celebrants are like rabbits – they’re everywhere!

How, oh how will you find the most awesome celebrant?  Well, don’t get too stressed about it because I’m going to give you the key! Yes, the key to finding your perfect wedding celebrant 🙂

These are exciting times. You’re getting married – the dress needs to be perfect and suit your body type, your hair and makeup need to suit the dress. Your shoes need to match and be comfortable. You choose these things according to personal style and it should be the same with choosing your celebrant. But how should you start?

Step One

Firstly, as a couple, spend some time talking about what you want or don’t want in your ceremony.  For example, are you a formal or informal couple? Will you break down into peals of laughter if the Celebrant mentions the “twin flames” stuff? Would you like religion to play a part in your ceremony? Don’t think you have to – Civil Celebrants marry people according to law not religion.  Do you want to be married in a church, on a beach or a park?  Is your wedding small or does it include your top 400 friends?  Write it all down – you’ve just started creating the template for your wedding.

Step Two

Once you’ve decided on the overall style of the ceremony, it will be much easier to choose a Celebrant to match. There are so many options out there and the process can be time-consuming. But a great place to start is by gender – do either of you have a preference for either a male or female celebrant? That’s a personal choice but it’s one of the first things you can use to filter out what you want versus what you don’t want.  Next, do you like the idea of an older, fatherly figure – or – do you want someone young and funky?

Now look at the celebrant’s advertising – if it’s serious and traditional, they’re more likely comfortable with that style of ceremony and may well feel uncomfortable if you want a Wicca ceremony in a forest at midnight. As a generalisation, the advertising should reflect the ceremony style of the celebrantIf you want light-hearted and fun, the advertising should reflect that.

You’ll notice a lot of celebrants advertise in a ‘run of the mill’ fashion – they’re middle of the road.  Ten years ago, I decided I’d be true to myself and  I started my advertising “Making Weddings Fun”.  Interestingly, I’ve noticed that in the last few years, every celebrant and their dog reckons they’re ‘fun’.   haha  prove it I say!  A meeting will sort that out!

Next get yourself a budget!  The pricing goes like this (again a generalisation and this is south east Queensland I’m talking about here):

Awesome, professional and usually the most popular celebrants charge $750 and over

Middle of the road celebrants charge $450 +

Newbie celebrants or the lesser popular celebrants charge $250+

Now I want to make it clear that I’m not being disparaging here – I firmly believe in a free market and I don’t have a problem with celebrants charging whatever they want – just because you find someone that charges $250, doesn’t mean they’re a dud! If they’re the perfect fit for you, they won’t be a dud!  What I’m wanting to do here is to educate you!

Oh, and some celebrants drop their price for a weekday ceremony – I do, and I don’t see anything wrong with that.  Some celebrant friends of mine don’t – its up to the individual.

A warning :  DO NOT choose a celebrant on price alone!  I’m not kidding here!  Don’t do it!  Check out personality, background and style.  Do they have a strong network of celebrants to rely on if something happens to them and they can’t do your wedding?  Do they have a PA system  Is their car reliable?  Do they have a contract?  Are they part of a Celebrant’s Association?  How far will they have to travel to get to your wedding?  What are their public speaking skills like?

The Key

I think that there is only one essential criteria in choosing your celebrant and  it’s pretty simple – you must ‘click’ with your Celebrant as a person. If you don’t get on with them – don’t hire them! It may take a while but keep looking – the right Celebrant is out there.  Use your gut instinct – that’s what it’s there for!  In fact, use it to pick all your suppliers and to just live your life by – I swear it works!

So, pick up the phone (or keyboard) and contact three celebrants who fit your criteria –The first contact should allow you to get an initial sense of your compatibility. Ask questions like:

• What’s your style (formal, informal, spiritual, religious)?
• What’s your fee and what do you include for that? Is travel included?
• Is it okay if I write my own vows? And can you help me with them?
• Do you have some literature, (e.g. brochure, fact sheet etc) you can send me?
• Do you have any referrals (past couples) that I could speak to?
(It should be noted that Privacy Laws preclude the Celebrant from giving out client information unless those clients have given their prior approval. However, with your approval, the Celebrant can give your information to the referral couple and they can contact you).

Also, ask how long they’ve been a celebrant – AND – more importantly, how many weddings they’ve conducted.  Some celebrants only do a few every year, so you might be impressed when they say they’ve been registered for 5 years, but they may have only done 5 weddings.  Don’t get me wrong, we all have to start somewhere – but you pay for the experience!  You want professional – you more than likely will have to pay for it!

Explain what you want as clearly as possible
Your celebrant is not a clairvoyant!  Tell them what you want, especially if it’s important to you!  For example, a lot of people say they are spiritual and ask for a ceremony which will reflect that spirituality – what is important here is their understanding of the word “spiritual”. I always ask the couple to clarify what they mean – some say religious, others are more the “angels and hand-fasting” ceremonies, whilst others have been more Pagan and I’ve conducted Wicca ceremonies – all under the tag ‘spiritual’. So try to have a clear idea of what you want and make sure that the celebrant has a clear understanding of your vision.

Think “outside the square”, capture your personalities and use your hobbies and your humour to add a little bit of you into your ceremony. A great ceremony will reflect you both individually and as a couple and as long as the legal requirements are met during your ceremony, and your Celebrant is willing to be creative with you, you can have almost anything you want. Yes, anything!

Use your imagination! Have fun and if you’re stuck, ask your Celebrant for some ideas to get you going.

 

Good luck!  xx

 

Use this handy table as a guide of what to expect from one of my ceremonies. This may help you decide what type of ceremony you want!

CEREMONY	LEGAL PAPERWORK ENSURED	TIME ALLOWED	WHEN AND WHERE	HELP WITH VOWS	UNITY CEREMONY	GUESTS ALLOWED
Standard	Yes	20 minute ceremony – allow up to 45 minutes	Any day, time or location	Yes	Yes	No limit
Small wedding	Yes	15 minute ceremony – allow up to 30 minutes	Any day, time or location	Yes	Yes	Up to 20 guests
Elopement	Yes	10 minute ceremony – allow up to 15 minutes	Monday – Thursday – Sunshine Coast only	Yes	No	Up to 10 guests
Wedding in a box	Yes	10 minute ceremony – in a 45 minute time slot	Specific dates and locations as per elopetoaustralia website	Yes	No	Up to 10 guests
Coffee table wedding	Yes	3 minute ceremony – allow 5 minutes	Monday – Thursday – central Sunshine Coast only	Yes	No	2 x witnesses
Renewal of Vows	No legal paperwork	10 minute ceremony – allow 20 minutes	Monday – Thursday – Sunshine Coast only	Yes	Yes	No limit
Commitment Ceremony	No legal paperwork	20 minute ceremony – allow up to 45 minutes	Any day, time or location	Yes	Yes	No limit

Notes:

I arrive 30 minutes prior to your ceremony (with the exception of the coffee table wedding and the renewal of vows where I arrive 20 minutes prior). The other times mentioned are the times that you’d expect me to be leaving, and you’ll be organising your group photo or ordering your lunch. So, it’s just an idea of the maximum ‘time required’ guide for a stress free laid back time.

These details are a guide only – if you’re not sure – shoot me an email or a text – I’m one of the lowest maintenance celebrants (people) you could meet so I’m super flexible.

Do I do more than one wedding a day – sure do if there’s a nice spacing between them. There seems to be a ‘thing’ about this and some celebrants say they conduct only one a day so they can ‘focus solely on you’ – I think this is ridiculous and probably shows a lack of admin skills. On my Weddings in a Box days I marry up to 10 couples per day – What can I say, I’m organised! If you want me to ‘focus solely on you’ ALL day, it will probably set off my ‘bridezilla’ alarm and I’ll say no anyway 🙂

If you ask me if I’m available for a Noosa Beach wedding at 3pm during holiday season, the answer will be ‘no’, unless you can guarantee me a park in one of the nearby hotels (ain’t nobody got time for dat).

Do I travel – yes … but … there’s a cost associated. I stopped doing Brissy weekday afternoon weddings because the drive home would take me hours and my ADD acts up in traffic jams. Fly me somewhere – I’m cool with that.

Hope this helps!

I’ve had a spate of weddings lately that have just made me smile! I love my goth weddings, my Star Wars weddings and anything a bit out of the ordinary. I’m talking a Harry Potter wedding at the Sunshine Castle, complete with Luna the owl delivering the rings; a Transformers’ wedding complete with awesome photoshopping; and I’m booked for a super heroes wedding (hmm me in lycra might be a problem – is there a middle aged size 14 super hero?).

So, I was a bit saddened by a recent comment on a bridal Facebook page, something along the lines of ‘some of my guests aren’t coming because they don’t like my theme’ (goth/purple/black).

WTF? You’re kidding right?

Cookie cutter weddings are everywhere – anyone can have one of those – but to step outside the norm and embrace your personalities is the bombdiggity!! If people don’t come to your wedding because of it, you don’t want them there in the first place! It’s a real field leveller. Celebrate our wedding our way or bugger off!

Simples!

Because, it’s actually not about the theme or the colour or what dress you wear – it’s about celebrating the bride and groom’s relationship in a way that is important to them. Yes, I know a lot of mothers interfere and bulldoze their way through the wedding planning but seriously, don’t let them! They’ve had their day, you should have yours.

Think about what you both like to do – what defines you in your life and figure out a way to incorporate that into your wedding. If you’re not game enough to do a totally themed wedding – here’s some cool ideas from some of my weddings:

Bride dogs
Bride horses
Bride snake (complete with a black tie)
Bride bearded dragon
Bridesmen and Groomsladies
Origami invitations
Bash a Piñata to get the rings (OMG! Funniest thing you’ve ever seen!)
Have the rings delivered in a remote control car
Have a GoPro wedding
Suspend your rings in jelly (yes, really!)
Have vodka shots instead of the traditional champagne toast or at a zoo
Have your wedding in a theatre or at a football field
Have a wedding where everyone sits in a circle – including the B&G and celebrant
Surprise weddings are awesome
Spin the bottle to decide on witnesses
Hand out raffle tickets and draw two winners (witnesses)
Beach wedding – the bride wore a white bikini and veil, the groom wore white boardies and a top hat

Okay, so first things first – shoot me an email or a phonecall and make sure I have your date and time available! If I’ve got another commitment on that day, I may ask you if you’re flexible with your start time.

I’ll email you back with some propaganda about what I do and why you should book me, along with my price. If you’re happy with everything, then you have two choices:

1. Set up a meeting (in person, phone or skype) to make sure I don’t have two heads
2. Book me sight unseen – this is actually how most of my clients go – it’s all about gut instinct and most couples know straight away if I’m for them.

Next, email me and tell me, “Lyn, we’d love you to be our celebrant” and I’ll email you back saying “yay”! I’ll include my booking form which I ask you to complete (the top half only) and then email it straight back so I can get you pencilled in. In my email to you, I’ll include my terms and conditions (they’re pretty standard in the industry, but if you have any questions then please ask!).

I’ll also send through the deposit details – remember that until the deposit is paid, you’re not locked in – if another couple book your date or pay the deposit before you then the booking will be theirs!

Sorry! Basically, it’s snooze and you lose!

I’ll send through an email saying you’re booked in and I always suggest that you join me on Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest blah blah blah … I’m better on some platforms than others (not enough hours in the day!) – this way we can get to know each other so we’re not strangers on your wedding day!

Note: I will not ‘add’ you or send heaps of emails or messages because that will just make me ‘stalker celebrant’ – not cool! But you’re welcome to spam me as much as you like 🙂

Next on the ‘to do’ list is getting the pesky NoiM in – do it early and get it out of the way. I’ll also need to sight some original ID – usually drivers’ licences, birth certificates and divorce/death certificates if relevant.

About 2-3 months prior to your wedding we catch up for a ceremony design meeting – loads of fun! I’ll bombard your inbox with examples of vows, some homework, and a heap of other stuff so you’re up to speed with ceremony stuff and you’re clued up for when we meet. The meeting can take between 1 to 1.5 hours depending on how decisive you are.

I’ll teach you how to write kickarse vows! Truly! Kickarse 🙂 Even people who say they can’t write, end up proud of what they’re vows 🙂 It’s not hard when you know how – and my job is to teach you.

If I don’t have all aspects of your ceremony (eg. vows, readings etc) by a week before your ceremony, I WILL start stalking you 🙂 I’ll send you a confirmation email a week before just running through what we’d spoken about at the ceremony deign meeting and seeing if anything has changed (it’s usually cool if it has!).

Rehearsals: Yep, they’re available, but I find most of my couples don’t particularly want them. If you’re having a huge bridal party, it’s probably best to have one. It’s more about where to stand, rehearsing with the music, etc than actually reading your ceremony, so you can do it all without me. Let me know if you’d like a rehearsal!

Next you get married and have the best day of your life.

If you’d like me to lodge the Application for a Marriage Certificate into Births Deaths and Marriages for you, you’ll need to complete the form and give me back the original (they won’t accept a scanned copy or photocopy) before your wedding! If I lodge it with your registration papers you won’t need to supply the ID they ask for (they trust I’ve done all that) – if you forget, then you can apply at any time but you’ll need to attach a certified copy of your driver’s licence.