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Australian wedding trends have evolved over the years, with couples opting for more unique and personalised celebrations. The latest trends include boho chic, industrial chic, and sustainable weddings.

Let's explore these trends and see how to incorporate them into your special day.

Boho Chic weddings

Boho chic weddings are all about embracing a relaxed and carefree vibe, with an emphasis on natural elements and textures. This trend has become increasingly popular in recent years, with couples opting for outdoor locations, such as beach or garden settings. When it comes to décor, boho chic weddings often feature earthy tones, such as greens, browns, and neutrals, along with natural materials like wood, rattan, and jute.

To incorporate the boho chic trend into your wedding, consider using organic and sustainable materials for your decorations, such as dried flowers and leaves, pampas grass, and macramé. You can also opt for a relaxed dress code for your guests, with flowy dresses and loose-fitting suits.

Industrial Chic Weddings

Industrial chic weddings are all about combining rustic elements with industrial touches, creating a unique and modern aesthetic. This trend has become increasingly popular in urban settings, with couples opting for venues such as warehouses, factories, and lofts. When it comes to décor, industrial chic weddings often feature metallic accents, exposed brick walls, and raw materials such as wood and concrete.

To incorporate the industrial chic trend into your wedding, consider using exposed bulb lighting, copper accents, and geometric shapes for your decorations. You can also opt for a minimalist and modern dress code for your guests, with sleek lines and monochromatic colors.

Sustainable Weddings

Sustainable weddings are becoming increasingly popular in Australia, with couples opting for eco-friendly and ethical options when planning their special day. This trend is all about reducing waste, supporting local businesses, and making environmentally conscious choices.

To incorporate sustainable practices into your wedding, consider using eco-friendly decorations, such as recycled paper and biodegradable materials. You can also opt for locally sourced flowers and food, reducing your carbon footprint and supporting local businesses. Additionally, you can choose to donate any leftover food or flowers to charities or local shelters.

The latest wedding trends in Australia showcase the growing desire for unique and personalised celebrations that embrace sustainability and ethical practices. Whether you choose a boho chic, industrial chic, or a sustainable wedding, incorporating these trends into your special day will create a memorable and meaningful celebration that reflects your values and personality.

I love great marriage vows!

Amazing wedding vows capture each couple’s uniqueness; honouring each individual, and the relationship all while capturing the essence of their relationship.

I love when a couple just want to have fun and make fun of each other though I particularly love vows that mean something.  I call them kick-arse vows. So, I did some research into what behaviours and emotions make for successful marriages and thought it might be fun to come up with some wedding vows based on these points.  Obviously I have a lot of couples ask me how to write wedding vows, so here we go:

Gratitude: Let your partner know that you’re grateful to have them in your life.

Saying something about how grateful you are that they are in your life makes your partner feel appreciated, which in turn makes them happy, and bonus, they’ll become more grateful that you’re in their life. It’ll create a nice little love-cycle.  When we’re expressing gratitude, we’re also expressing appreciation so we can’t ever take each other for granted.  An example wedding vow might go like this:

“I’m so grateful to have you in my life, and I promise I’ll show you every day just how lucky I feel that we’re doing life together.”

Commitment: Add in a line that says you’re committed to that person and the marriage.

We all know there’ll be times that things aren’t all glowy and gorgeous.  Sometimes life throws some curve balls at us, and when we have a committed outlook, it means we’ll be there for the good, the bad and the ugly times.  If you both have this outlook, you’ll work on seeing each other as part of a united team, committed to each other’s well-being.  This actually creates an ‘us against the issue’ mentality, rather than a ‘you against me’ mentality which is so important.  A sample of this commitment in your wedding vows could be:

“I promise to stand by your side, shoulder to shoulder through all that life may throw at us, the good, the bad and the ugly.  Together, we make an amazing team and we're always stronger together.”

Future Planning: Write something about your growth as individuals, and your relationship.

Marriage is mostly about the future planning and promising to keep the love and excitement alive with date nights, travelling and enjoying new experiences. Doing these things will mean that the relationship won’t fall into a rut.  When couples engage in interesting things together, research shows they’re happier.   Expressing this in your marriage vows is as simple as this:

“I promise to keep our love and passion alive, to never take you or our love for granted, and promise I will continue to surprise and challenge you in all our adventures.”

Support: Tell your partner that you’re their safe haven through the good and bad times.

This is all about being the other person’s ‘person’ - someone you can always rely on for support when you’re upset and when you’re happy.  Whatever happens you know your partner will have your back, even during those times you do make mistakes.   Writing wedding vows about your support might look like this:

“In marrying you today, I’m committing to you that whatever challenges you face, I’ll be your soft place to fall.  I’ve got your back just like I know you have mine.”

Autonomy: Individuality within any relationship is also super important

When we’re guilted or pressured into making decisions, our autonomy is lost, and research shows that we don’t like that. When we don’t really have a choice, we’re less fulfilled and less happy.  So yes, you’re a fabulous couple, but respecting each other’s individuality will give you more joy in your marriage.

“I promise to honour your decisions and choices, loving and respecting you as an individual, as I know you will for me. You're an amazing human already and I'm excited to watch you grow to become your best possible self."

Positivity: Let your partner know that you see them in a positive light, now and in the future.

No-one’s perfect, but if you focus of the other person’s flaws, chances are things might not go to well for the longevity of your relationship. In fact the number one killer of relationships is contempt. If you find yourself being contemptuous of your partner, you might have some work to do on your relationship – tell your partner you’ll always respect and appreciate them. Having this positive attitude will lead to greater relationship satisfaction.  Letting your partner know that they have your support as they grow and try to improve themselves is beneficial to your marriage.

 “I promise to always respect and admire you, loving and adoring the man you are today, and the man you’ll become in the future.”

So, if you want to cheat: copy and paste each of these lines, add the legal line at the top, mention their name or nickname in there somewhere, add a few funny lines and bingo - kickarse vows. You're welcome.

Lynette Maguire is a popular and award winning marriage celebrant based at Tamborine Mountain, Queensland. 

The 4 predictors of marriage success or failure

In my last blog I wrote about the fascinating research by Dr John Gottman who claims he can predict the success or failure of a marriage with over 90% accuracy.  The negative behaviours which are deemed to be predictors to marriage success or failure are stonewalling, defensiveness, contempt and criticism.

My last blog touched on Contempt (the biggest badie), but what about the three others?  Let's unpack them here:

Stonewalling

Stonewalling is when one party dismisses the other party.  I know this firsthand because my first husband was a Grade A stonewaller and it drove me nuts.  When I’d approach him about something I wanted to talk about, I’d invariably be met with “Don’t start on me now,”  if he sensed the subject might be controversial, have something to do with feelings or discussing problems, or hold him in a not so great light.  Eventually, he needn’t have worried because I just stopped talking at all.

Men stonewall more than women, withdrawing from the interaction, closing into themselves and shutting down.  They build an emotional wall between themselves and their partner and that’s not healthy.

However, when women stonewall, it’s a big predictor of divorce.

Defensiveness

Gottman defines defensiveness as, "self-protection in the form of righteous indignation or innocent victimhood in an attempt to ward off a perceived attack."

Thanks to Only You Forever , here are some sure-fire ways to put your spouse into a defensive mindset:

1. Use words or tone of voice that evaluates or judges the listener (“I see you are on your phone…again”)
2. Attempt to control or coerce the listener (“If you don’t put that down I am going to freak on you.”)
3. Strategic or manipulative communication (targeting, needling or guilting over it)
4. Neutral speech that conveys a lack of concern (#hairflip you’re on your phone again)
5. Implications of superiority
6. Dogmatism or certainty in your own opinion
7. Any behaviour that your spouse deems threatening or punishing
8. Loud or rapid speech
9. Frequent interruptions or corrections

Criticism

Criticism which is meant to make your partner feels rejected, hurt or small is toxic to a loved-up relationship.  Criticism is not to be confused with constructive criticism which doesn’t attack someone’s character but rather focuses on specific behaviours.

Constant criticism is a major predictor of divorce because it’s difficult to be around someone who is always pointing out your flaws and shortcomings.  Over time, unconstructive criticism such as critiquing, disapproval, nitpicking and blaming erodes away any healthy areas of any relationship.

Dr Jessica Higgins offers ‘10 signs that you might be too critical in a relationship’:

1. You are very critical of yourself when you make a mistake (i.e. what do you automatically tell yourself when you make a mistake?). If you are highly critical with yourself, then you are probably highly critical of others.
2. Your parents were highly critical and/or had high expectations.
3. You tend to be a perfectionist.
4. You tend to offer editorial commentary on others appearance, home, and choices.
5. Your loved ones tell you that you are critical.
6. You are easily offended and insulted.
7. It is easier to find fault than praise. You will find the flaw rather than the positive.
8. Even if your partner does 90% of a task, you focus on the 10% that is incomplete. You get preoccupied with how your partner didn’t complete the task to your liking, and you forget to focus on the value of your partner’s effort and help.
9. You micromanage. You have a hard time letting go. If your partner didn’t complete a task in your preferred way, you will go afterward and fix it to your liking.
10. You tend to view others’ mannerisms and behaviour as negative. As Steven Stosny jokes in his article about criticism, people will say  “I give feedback; you’re critical. I’m firm; you’re stubborn. I’m flexible; you’re wishy-washy. I’m in touch with my feelings; you’re hysterical!”

If you recognise you or your partner in any of these four negative behaviours, you might want to think about working on it either by yourselves, (hey, recognising behaviour is the first step, right!) or head to a marriage counsellor.  I know heaps, so shoot me an email and I’ll recommend someone fabulous.  Sometimes it helps to have a third person who’s objective to point out behaviours which we’re not aware of and if we open ourselves to help, we might just save our marriage = worth it!

Dr Lynette Maguire is a popular Marriage Celebrant on Tamborine Mountain and the Gold Coast, who is fascinated with people and behaviours which prompted her attaining her first degree majoring in Psychology, culminating in her PhD in 2015.

Marriage takes work

There's an art to creating and maintaining a happy marriage. Did you know that there’s been research conducted about the four behaviours which will determine the success or failure of a marriage (or, I’d hazard to guess, any relationship).

Just four behaviours! Any idea what they might be? What behaviour does your partner exhibit that triggers you? Or, perhaps look back at a past relationship - what behaviours brought down that relationship – not necessarily from your partner (they aren’t always the bad guys); what about your own behaviours?

Dr John Gottman who researches marital stability and divorce prediction, claims he can pick those relationships which will end up in divorce with a 90% accuracy!

Wow! Why don’t we know about this?

As a marriage celebrant of over 20 years, I’ve met and married literally thousands of couples, most of whom I’ve had good feelings about, but some of whom have triggered a gut-wrenching uneasiness. Funnily though, whether I knock the booking back or accept it, I can look back and find I was intuitively picking up the signs of marriage failure or success even before I learned about these four behaviours.

Okay, okay, I’ll stop with the suspense! This blog will cover the first of four negative behaviours to watch out for.

The one negative behaviour we need to watch out for

After watching hundreds of couples argue, Gottman found that the four predictors of failure in a marriage are contempt, criticism, defensiveness and stonewalling.

The nastiest of these negative communication patterns in a marriage? Contempt.

So, what does contempt look like? It’s mocking and treating your partner with disrespect. Eyerolling, hostile humour, name-calling, sneering … I’m sure you get the picture. These not so nice behaviours leave us feeling unloved, pained and judged.

Don't despair!

If you recognise this behaviour in yourself or your partner, don’t despair. There’s still hope. Dr Gottman’s ability to predict divorce is contingent upon these negative behaviours not ever changing, so there’s time to change this around by working together on your “we-ness” your connectedness.

Remember back to when you first met! You adored each other, right?  Work on getting that back.

Look at each other with rose-coloured glasses – be each other’s biggest fan and in doing so you’ll be creating a culture of appreciation and respect. If contempt has crept into your relationship, it’s a tell-tale sign that the culture of your relationship is no longer positive and nurturing.  In fact, your relationship might be on pretty unstable grounds.

So, rather than looking for things to pick on, look for the positives: Catch your partner doing something good. Tell them you appreciate them. Thank them. Hug more. Touch more. Laugh more. Go on date nights. Work on having fun sex. Be truly intimate with your whole being. Approach your relationship as bipartisan rather than oppositional.

In making a concerted effort to create a more positive marriage culture, you’ll both be happier and your relationship will blossom again.

Find out more

I'll post about the other three behaviours soon.  Follow me to find out more!

About Dr Lynette Maguire:
Dr Lynette Maguire is a popular Marriage Celebrant on the Gold Coast and Tamborine Mountain, who is fascinated with people and behaviours, prompting her to attain her first University degree majoring in Psychology (2010) and her PhD (2015). Lynette has been a marriage celebrant for over 20 years and is known for her genuine, high energy and fun, modern ceremonies.

While the world mourned some great musicians, actors, writers and minds, the year of Lynette Maguire was an absolute cracker!

I’m a pretty positive person naturally, and yeah stuff happened, but by and large 2016 for me, was the bomb!

2016 was my biggest year of weddings to date.  I met loads of loved up couples who absolutely loved their ceremonies.  One of things I love about what I do is that each wedding is different, because each couple is different – so no two weddings are ever the same!  Also, a lot of what I do is ad lib (hey you can plan these things down to the micro-second, but sometimes life throws curve balls at you) and I love the spontaneity, joy and laughter at these times!

Weddings are inherently emotional, because, well, they’re weddings – but it doesn’t mean they need to be boring.  Being all loved up can be fun too!  And I’ve had loads of fun this year – I can honestly say there’s not a couple that I didn’t connect with, or who didn’t adore their ceremony!  It’s the connection that really matters, you see.  Here's a few pics:

So, what happened this year, besides a bucket of awesome weddings?  Well, I conducted 4 funerals and 5 same sex commitments. Lynette Maguire Marriage Celebrant was interviewed by media a couple of times about trends in weddings, same sex marriage and ceremony venues on the Sunshine Coast.

MY OTHER LOVES

And aside from that, I taught in Semester 1 at USC.

I was asked to be keynote speaker at five (5) events this year – talking about my Doctoral research into the influencers of teen behaviour (social networking, narcissism, violence, cyberbulling, suicide) through my consultancy business Now Generation

My doctoral research was published!  Whoot!

My discussion cards are selling well.  They’re designed to start conversations with teens about stuff that matters.

My next book, Selfies, sexting, savagery and suicide: Welcome to the era of narcissism which is written for the parents and caregivers of teens, is out next year – this is what it’ll look like:

MY BABY, MY WEDDING WISH LTD

My baby, My Wedding Wish Ltd is now registered as a national charity with DGR status (that means we can give tax deductible receipts)  yay!!  For those who don’t know, My Wedding Wish has been running since 2013 and we gift weddings to the terminally ill.  To date we’ve gifted over $250,000.00 worth of weddings, renewal of vow ceremonies and same sex commitments.  If you know anyone who fits the criteria (terminal) and they want to be married but can’t because of all reasons when you’re terminal, send them to me!  J

A story in the local Profile magazine made the finalist’s list of the ‘Most Inspiring Story of 2016’ – we didn’t win, but we always love the love!

The gorgeous folk at the RACV Resort in Noosa (highly recommend for weddings) held a Melbourne Cup lunch for My Wedding Wish, and raised $2,000 for us!  Thank you RACV  xx

The other fabulous folk from Mercure at Kawana (another great wedding venue), held a Christmas Party for all the wedding suppliers of the Sunshine Coast, and proceeds were donated to MWW also.  Thank you lovely people!

Our Steering Committee have been hard at work and we’re almost rolled out around Australia.  It’s been a long journey but we’re now gifting weddings other than in SE Queensland!

To top it all off, My Wedding Wish has been nominated in the Sunshine Coast’s 2017 Australia Day Awards!  Whooot!

AND WELL, I THINK THAT’S ENOUGH!

I’m jumping out of my skin for an amazing 2017!  I had computer issues where for 2 months my website contact form was down so I missed SO MANY enquiries!   But we’re back into the swing of things now!

I hope your 2017 is brilliant.  xxx